Sunday, May 13, 2012

Scared Today

Today I'm kind of scared. I'm still having the flu-like symptoms and I'm starting to get a slight cough too. My hand rash (supposedly from doxy) is getting really dark and purple. It looks and feels like an infection to me. It's starting to itch and burn.

I had to take a lot of advil today just to function. It was Mother's Day and I wanted to be able to go out with my family for dinner. It would have been impossible without advil and alka seltzer, but I think I overdid it and tomorrow I have a liver function test which will probably not be good now that I took all the advil.

I went to the store this morning to pick out a hat. I DON'T want the rash on my hands to start on my face. If it's from doxy, it's only a matter of time. I am a person who NEVER wears hats. Today I got a plain black cadet style hat which kind of makes me look like a weird punk. I'm sure I'm going to get plenty of comments. I tried the hat out in a store today and got a lot of strange looks. I can only imagine what people who know me are going to say.

I feel terrible. I hope that I'm herxing and not reacting to one of the meds in a very bad way. I'm scared that I won't get better or that my meds won't be covered much longer. I have had so much pain this weekend and people always tell me to "call the doctor" but I feel stupid calling. In my mind I know it's probably a herx. I know that's what he'll say. I just hope that I am getting the point across about how bad I really feel. I'm good at hiding symptoms since I have to do it everyday at work. Every time I mention something, even to the doctor, I feel like a chronic complainer. I don't know what to do anymore.