Friday, September 14, 2012

Extreme Anxiety Returns...........

The past few days have been very bad days for me. I am having extreme anxiety. For several days I have not been able to calm myself down. I have barely slept or eaten. I haven't been able to run lately because of heart and lung pain, so instead I am now hiking and pushing things too far trying to force short spurts of sprinting. Two days ago I did 5 miles and then another 3. Yesterday I did 5 miles, then another 5 on extremely mountainous terrain, and then another 1 mile. This morning I'm up at 3:00 a.m. waiting for the sun to rise so I can go up another mountain before my scheduled plans for the day begin.

This is not good. I went from too weak to do anything to over the top energy in a very short amount of time. It's not healthy energy. It is definitely going to be detrimental for me to continue this amount of exercise, particularly since I am not eating a normal amount of calories. Logically, I know I shouldn't run or go up mountains, but I can't help it. My mind is racing and I'm out of control. I can already feel some of the negative effects this is having on me as the numbness in my left hand yesterday was much worse than usual.

I believe the anxiety is from pesticide/insecticide exposure again. It always happens shortly after I breath in air from a recently sprayed lawn, or am near someone who is coating themselves in DEET. This week, several houses nearby were spraying their lawns. I was unable to avoid breathing in the fumes because I had to wait outside for children to get off the bus.

I did start Ceftin a few days ago, but I don't think that is causing the anxiety. However, with this episode also came a strong concern that I have weakened my combo by pressuring my LLMD to switch me from high dose doxy to Ceftin. When I wanted to switch, I did not expect him to switch me to a very LOW dose of Ceftin. If I had known, I probably would not have changed it and would have instead discussed adding biaxin to the combination or substituting Tindamax or Flagyl for Plaquenil.

I called the office to express my worries about having switched the meds. It was the first time I have ever called for that reason. They told me I can switch back to doxy if I want. I don't know what to do. I know I'm not myself right now because for the first time ever I want someone else to decide for me. I absolutely hate this feeling of being completely out of control. I like the fact that my LLMD includes me in making decisions, but this time, I'm not in a place to decide. It's putting more stress on me that if I make the wrong choice, I could potentially allow this to progress again and cause more damage.

I am worried about this low dose because now if I get new symptoms or get worse, I will know it's likely not due to a Ceftin herx because the dose is far too low to do any good.