Sunday, January 13, 2013


Well yesterday I had a ton of anxiety and frustration about all the things I haven't been able to do since I've had Lyme. It built up so much that I decided to stop being cautious and I went snowboarding. I don't know what I was thinking. I woke up with a fairly high fever. I couldn't even put weight on my knee or my right calf without a brace or an ace bandage wrapped tightly around it. I was twitching like crazy as well. Nevertheless, I chose to go to a mountain that is considered pretty small and easy to navigate. The conditions were slushy since it was about 45 degrees yesterday. I was so sick of not being able to do anything. I thought snowboarding would be easier than trying to go for a long hike or running (which I have been very unsuccessful with lately).

In the morning before going I loaded up on advil, CoQ10, ginseng and I used the new increased volume of B12. This time I didn't have the massive twitch reaction that scared me a few days ago when I injected the B12. The new volume is 1mg suspended in a full ml. of solution instead of .5ml of solution. So a greater volume of the actual vitamin is able to make it past the IM needle. It made a big difference. That B12 shot felt much more potent. Without it, I would not have been able to get out of bed. I felt really bad from the fever.

Since my own snowboard is an advanced heavy one that is very responsive to any shift of weight I decided to rent one that would be a little easier to handle. On the way over to the lift I started getting really nervous. I was having a really hard time digging the edge into the snow in order to stop myself. The board was extremely slick. It was a very lightweight Burton board. Not wanting to be a wimp I just headed straight up to the top without any practice runs. I've been snowboarding and skiing for a long time so when I feel normal, I'm very confident on the mountain. My lack of balance made me feel more like a cautious beginner this time.

The first time down was a little difficult. I fell a couple of times but not badly. Then I started to get a little more confidence but I still stuck to easy and intermediate trails for the majority of the time. I was only able to make it down 2 times from the top and 2 times from the 3/4 point. It was okay, because the people that I went with were not the type of people who take run after run anyway. We rode the lifts up together but we split up on the mountain because we were all at different levels and speeds so I wasn't hindering anyone.

After about two runs, I started to get really lightheaded and I was seeing spots. Sure enough this happened right on time between 1:30 and 2:30 p.m. My hands were going numb and I was having heart palpitations. With my luck, this happened to be the one time all day that I was on a black diamond trail. I had to go over to the side and lie down for a few minutes. A few people stopped and asked me if I was okay and I just told them I was waiting for someone. Then I got up and made it down. 

I had a good appetite yesterday which is typical when I have a fever. I was able to eat a good amount of food without getting too sick although I was pretty nauseous for most of the day. Towards the end of the night my typical psychological symptom of uncharacteristic anxiety and depression returned. Today I'm back to really weak and tired again. I slept for 11 hours without waking up even one time. I feel like I could go back to sleep for another 12 hours.

I'm glad I went, but in a way I'm sad about it too. I am getting really scared lately because I'm losing the ability to do a lot of what should be normal and easy for me. Snowboarding yesterday was about 10x more difficult than usual.  I'm really not making any progress with my symptoms and I feel like yesterday may have been one of the last times I will be able to go snowboarding if something doesn't start drastically changing in a good direction.