Friday, May 3, 2013
I'm also getting anxiety again. It's not from the heart palpitations and anxiety wasn't the cause of them either. It's building from everything that's going on lately. I just can't calm down. My mind is constantly racing from one thing to the next. I was asked if I have ever done an EKG or worn a Holter monitor. I haven't. I don't want to do it. I'm sick of tests. They never show anything and even if they did show something what would be done about it? Probably nothing so I don't even want to know.
I'm in my 20's and my heart should be fine. I just want all of these symptoms to go away. I want to feel like a normal person and not have to worry that I'm going to have a heart attack. Someone very close to me died suddenly of a heart attack right at this time of year. Doctors didn't help. That's where a lot of my mistrust comes from.
I had a tick on my back this week. I had another in my hair the other day that came out on a brush. I also had a barely attached one on my neck a few weeks ago. I was at a friend's house and their kids were playing outside. When the one year old came in to get his diaper changed he had 3 deer ticks inside his diaper. It's a bad season this year. If you don't already have Lyme (or even if you do) please be careful.
I had a glutathione IV this week and had two really good days. I still am not able to running or for walks or hikes but I felt substantially better and closer to normal than usual. It was really hot out so I took the kids up to a pond to swim. Pools aren't open in the Northeast until Memorial Day. When we got there, the entire pond was dried up. The kids weren't disappointed though. They were eager to play in the massive mud pit! There were tons of salamanders all over the place. Since I was feeling pretty good, I allowed it but it was disgusting and soon my germ OCD got the best of me. I was sinking up to my waist in mud. The only place to wash off was a tiny ice cold stream running through the middle of the crater. As soon as you stepped out of the stream you fell back into a sinkhole of quick-mud. Then the 7-year-old pulls off her croc and tells me there are slugs in it. I go over to look and there are leeches in her shoe.
Even though that sounds like a horrifying bad experience, I loved that day because I was close to my "normal" pre-Lyme self. Unfortunately, it's artificially induced by glutathione IV's. I can't get anywhere near that level of improvement with any other method (and I've tried a lot of things). I always loved teaching and taking kids out to catch frogs and salamanders, swim, and be active outdoors. Lately I'm barely able to even walk around at a playground supervising. I can't stand my weakness. I don't even feel like myself except when I'm on glutathione.
By the 3rd morning, it felt like a truck hit me with all my normal symptoms returning. This morning as I'm trying to eat my bowl of gluten free cereal, my hands are trembling so much that I can barely keep the milk on the spoon. I just woke up and I'm already incredibly tired. If I could sleep the entire day every day that's what I'd do. Unfortunately sleep makes me a lot weaker physically.
Next week I get the results of my thyroid and hormone testing. At this point I'm really hoping something comes back abnormal. I know that sounds really weird but because nothing ever shows up on blood work or tests for me I feel like I'm crazy. How can I feel this bad all the time and be considered perfectly healthy based on testing?
I know I have Lyme because I'm CDC positive with a low CD57 and the symptoms match up perfectly with Lyme and co-infections. However, sometimes I wish I had something else. A thyroid issue would be fairly easy to remedy compared to this.
Posted by Key Lyme Pie