Monday, August 19, 2013

Heart Problems

So I was at my doctor's office for a regular thing and I mentioned how my heart has been beating strangely more often than usual along with dizziness, feeling "off" and losing the feeling in my arms very suddenly for no reason. I shouldn't have said anything...........

I had a mild fever and apparently even though I could barely feel the heart palpitations at the time that I was in the office, apparently my heart was beating abnormally. So another doctor came in and said he thought it was A-Fib and told my PCP to send me for an EKG and I have to go to a cardiologist before I can resume any Lyme treatment. Since I've had this symptom all along, even prior to seeing my LLMD, I have no idea what suddenly made it so urgent. I had to go to the ER for the EKG since it was after hours. I did the EKG and I'm home, but now I'm in a full panic attack because I was pulled off all medications and the last time I was off everything I declined very quickly and had seizures.

I'm losing it emotionally. I feel like crap and I'm so weak that I'm near collapse, but I had to go running many times to keep my mind off my germ OCD. I am extremely upset and crying. The entire time of the EKG and sitting around waiting in various beds and chairs I was focused on all the different things that my skin was contacting and the germs that were getting on me. I am literally sobbing right now because I can't take the thoughts of it. I showered obsessively last night but I still feel like there are germs on me.

So I went running at 3:00 a.m. I had to, and I will probably go again later today because my anxiety level right now is through the roof. It was pitch black and there were literally bats flying all over the place but I didn't care. I don't even care if something happens with my heart. Several years ago my dad was in the ER having a heart attack and was not helped whatsoever by doctors. They didn't even call a cardiologist. They allowed him to progress into full cardiac arrest and then they covered up the fact that they didn't treat him appropriately by falsifying the time that he arrived at the hospital on their forms. So my attitude has always been that if I'm dying, so be it. I'd rather die at home or out doing something I enjoy than rely on a hospital to do anything to help the situation.

The ER doctor I saw was a real winner...........The first question he asked me was if I'm a runner. Followed by "Do you do cocaine?" Ummmm..........yeah, I literally don't even take caffeine and does he actually think that if someone did use cocaine they would tell him? What kind of question is that? Other than those two questions, I was so vague in my answers that he just let me go. He was staring me down trying to figure out why I wouldn't answer his questions or discuss my symptoms with him. I didn't want his advice or his treatment. I wanted to get the EKG over with and get out. So I told him only about the heart palpitations and none of the other 20+ symptoms that accompany it daily.

I asked a doctor that I know socially about his feelings towards the cardiologist that I was referred to since he's worked with him in the past. He said the individual doctor is okay, but in general the cardiologists he's worked with do unnecessary procedures on people to bring in money. Those procedures cause complications that he has to deal with in his specialty and then the cardiologists expect him to cover up the fact that their unnecessary procedures created the patients' permanent disabilities.  So that makes me feel great about this referral..........   Plus the fact that nobody around here takes Lyme seriously so I can't even be honest about my diagnosis, symptoms, or even mention Lyme. I just don't want to do any of it. I feel like it's not going to be helpful in any way to go to a doctor that has no interest or experience in the complications of Lyme. Plus I'm already in a horrific panic attack and going to another appointment may put me over the edge.

Whatever. I don't care anymore about anything. I don't like to depend on doctors and I never did. I have no way to help myself with symptoms and no advice on what to do to prevent things from worsening in the time until the appointment. And nobody cares including myself. I don't know why or how I keep getting up every day. I've said this before. I would never intentionally harm myself, but I wouldn't care if I never woke up again. The way I function right now is a very low quality of life anyway.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Liver Enzymes Up Again!

Liver enzymes were one of the only things that ever came back abnormal for me from standard doctors before I even knew about having Lyme or began treating it. When I went on Rifampin last year and started doing glutathione IV's, my liver enzymes immediately lowered and have stayed in the normal range for almost an entire year.

Recently I decided to drop several antibiotics. I started to try some Chinese herbs but didn't feel any positive effects and was having an issue with the consistency and taste of the powders so I stopped those very quickly.  I then strictly started to follow a vegan low-fat diet recommendation suggested by an ILADS-affiliated doctor who believes I may have issues with biofilms or protozoal infection. I also added nattokinase, serrapeptase and a mixed enzyme and continued to not eat sugar or gluten. I eliminated caffeine and magnesium as well. My most current LFT shows elevated ALT, AST and Bilirubin and slightly low potassium. My liver enzymes are pretty much back to square one. They are close to the highest level that they've ever been. The medications that I currently take are not new. I've taken them very long-term. So my one objective improvement that can be measured by lab tests appears to be regressing now again.

It was suggested that the elevations may be from malnutrition. I don't think that's it. I have been absolutely starving over the last several weeks and eating far more than I used to. Mainly gluten free cereals, almond milk, veggie burgers, rice, oatmeals, fruits and vegetables. I have not restricted in terms of calories and I haven't had any additional weight loss although I was already considered borderline underweight with a BMI of 17.2.

I did notice an increase in heart palpitations, pain and fatigue. I have really not felt up to doing anything lately. All I want to do is sleep. There were many other components to the biofilm protocol but for the first time, I didn't feel well enough to jump into everything at full strength.

My thoughts are that this increase in liver enzymes is likely due to going off Rifampin (although there is a reason I don't want to go back on). I also think that it could be a result of eliminating magnesium and adding systemic enzymes both of which may be increasing the absorption of antibiotics and the dieoff of bacteria which would be filtered through my liver. I also think that it's possible that one of the infections is starting to regain control of things now that I drastically weakened my treatment protocol.

I don't know. I'm speculating like everyone else I guess. I'm waiting to hear back from doctors that are consulting about what to do. I won't get upset this time about going off things or testing for other contributing factors. At this point as long as a proposed treatment doesn't involve steroids or addictive substances, I will try anything.