Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Mepron Week 2: EXTREME anxiety

Well I made it through my 2nd week of Mepron and Zithromax, but I'm not doing well. I have over-the-top anxiety and insomnia. I haven't slept for more than 2 hours for the past week. I've tried valerian, hops, l-theanine, GABA, lavender, lemon balm, passion flower, ashwagandha, valerian, rhodiola, chamomile, magnesium, Orchex, benadryl, and more. NO success whatsoever.

I've been running excessively. I call it exercise OCD. It has happened before on several antibiotics. I can't calm my mind with anything so I just want to run and white out/not think about my life. The other day I ran about 15 miles. I still couldn't sleep. My theory is that my cortisol levels are in overdrive and that's why it's impossible for me to calm myself. That's also why my BP is not completely out of control despite weather in the 90's. I'm still having severe drops, but usually I'm in the ER after several days in the 90's and this week I've been able to avoid that. My meds seem to work somewhat and so do fluids.

The anxiety is completely misplaced as well. The other day a bear charged me. Yes.....again!!! I screamed instinctively and it turned and ran at the last second; changed his mind apparently. I had no fear from that incident but later on while I was trail running on a mountain I've been running on for 20 years, I almost had a full panic attack. I was sick from low BP and overdoing it and instead of just dealing with it like usual, my thoughts were that there were bears lurking waiting to kill me. Completely irrational and unlike me. 

The anxiety is my main issue but I'm also having noticeable increases in pain. My joints and muscles hurt. I normally don't get a lot of pain. I have a LOT of pain around my pacemaker shoulder. I actually thought I might have torn the generator away from the muscle or something. I also am feeling pain from shots and IV's. HIGHLY unusual. I normally have no pain sensation at all in most parts of my body.

I can't take the anxiety much longer and I had backed off of herbs when I started Mepron/Zith but I have to add them back since anxiety/insomnia/stress herbs are not doing a thing for me. So today I added back A-BART and CSA. I'm also taking trace minerals, a liver tincture and lots of magnesium. I hope this calms down. I really don't want to back down!